Tag: Sex

5 Sex Tips for Young Gay Couples

Yes, when you first started dating, everything was sexy, just looking at your boyfriend made you want to rip his clothes off and have him right there and then. Perhaps there were even times when you couldn’t even control yourself and you would just do it in a bathroom at a friend’s party. However, this ‘hot and heavy’ stage always fizzles out. No one knows exactly why – perhaps you become too comfortable with each other, you become too secure in your relationship and the knowledge that you can have sex whenever you want actually leads to a lack of sex, or at least adventurous sex, which is actually kind of paradoxical if you think about it. Well, whichever the reason, the lesson we must all remember at all times is that, in a relationship, you have to work at keeping the fires of passion and adventure alive. Great sex doesn’t just happen, and sometimes you have to work at it either to rekindle the fires or keep the flame alive even before it dies. So, what can you do to improve your sex life? Stay tuned and find out. Spoiler alert: it’s not difficult.

Sleep naked

According to a survey published in the Huffington Post sleeping naked with your partner doesn’t only make you sleep better but can actually improve your sex life. The reason is simple: just being in close proximity to your partner and not be ‘separated’ by layers of clothing will entice and excite you. This in turn could actually lead to a lack of sleep (if you know what we mean), because once you caress your boyfriend’s skin, you won’t be able to help yourself and you’ll want them immediately. We have oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ to thank for this. When you sleep naked together higher levels of this hormone are released and you’ll feel not only aroused but also more connected to your partner.

Time to play

Even straight couples have discovered the benefits of bringing sex toys into the boudoir, and we all know that when it comes to sex, gays are always ahead of the straights. So, even if the levels of pleasure are at a satisfactory level, introducing some pleasure enhancers is never a bad idea. There is a huge number of toys you can play with that will make sex an unforgettable experience, such as a prostate massager, a butt plug and a cock ring (these are plain amazing). Once you’ve included toys into your sex life, there will never be a dull moment in bed ever again, and your toy collection will just become bigger until you have to replace the ‘goodie drawer’ with a ‘goodie closet’.

When out of ideas

If you think you’ve tried it all and you’re fresh out of ideas as to what new thing to do – watching pornography is a great way to get some inspiration. Perhaps you’ll discover some new positions to try, but above all else, watching to guys (or more if that’s your kind of thing) being all hot and heavy will instantly arouse you to the point of eruption and you won’t be able to contain yourself. Just like when you were hot and heavy at the very beginning and couldn’t get to the end of a ‘regular’ movie, you won’t be able to finish this one either.

Talk about it

Once you’re in the ‘relationship’ stage as opposed to just casually dating and you are comfortable enough with your boyfriend to tell him all about your childhood memories and perhaps even share some emotional scars, you can be comfortable enough to talk about your fantasies. Fantasies are a healthy for a relationship, and in addition to that, if you go along with one or all of them, you might find unknown levels of pleasure. You may actually discover that you enjoy being tied up or are aroused by a certain fetish or role play that never crossed your mind before.

Never skip on foreplay

Sometimes the sheer anticipation of a touch is enough to get you going. Never forget to take your time, kiss like there’s no tomorrow, touch, play and tease one another to the point where you just can’t stand it anymore, and then tease each other some more. Sometimes there is nothing better than delayed gratification.

Some of the most beautiful gay saunas in the world

No matter which city, country or continent you are in: in a gay sauna every gay man feels right at home. Most of the gay saunas in the world are similar: There is usually at least one dry sauna, and most of the time you will find a steam room, a hot tub, a bar lounge, a cruising area and often screens that show pornos. In terms of size and cleanliness, there are differences. I’d like to state that I have never visited a really dirty gay sauna. As a matter of fact each one was pretty clean. Nonetheless, some gay saunas are more beautiful than others. Therefore, I would like to present some of the best international gay saunas in my blog post today:

Babylon Sauna in Bangkok

Probably the biggest and most beautiful gay sauna I have ever visited is the Babylon Sauna in Bangkok. Immediately after entering the visitor is in a true wellness paradise. Everything is clean, there is a feel-good atmosphere – and the noise of the Thai city seems very far away. In addition to the usual facilities the Babylon sauna has a large swimming pool, an excellent restaurant, several bars, a top-equipped gym and not only you can get a massage: even a hairdresser offers hiss services.

‘t Bölke Gaysauna in Enschede

My favorite sauna is in the Netherlands. Not in the popular gay metropolis Amsterdam, but in the enchanting Enschede. The city is located directly behind the German-Dutch border and is a popular destination for shopping on Saturdays. My husband and I like to associate this with a visit to the ‘t Bölke sauna, an extremely well-kept and luxurious oasis of tranquility. In the beautiful ambience you can relax wonderfully. I particularly like the pool area, whose roof can be opened in summer, so that visitors can relax in the open air in the Jacuzzi. Highly recommended is the restaurant with a small but delicious menu. The staff is super friendly. By the way, you also find a club in the sauna complex, so that on weekends you can switch directly from the gay sauna to the club.

Nova Bruc in Barcelona

In Barcelona, there are a variety of gay saunas. Due to their individual flair (and the clientele) I like the sauna Nova Bruc best in the city. It is especially popular with gay bears, their admirers and older men. Your are reminded of that at the cash register. I also like the rather traditional Nova Bruc sauna: it reminds me of a historic bathhouse. Especially the natural light in pool area is very nice.

Sauna Labyrint in Prague

In the Karlín district of Prague you will find the sauna labyrinth. This gay sauna in the Czech capital offers the usual equipment as a small bar, darkrooms, playground and numerous cabins, which you can rent on several floors. The wellness area with Finnish sauna, bio sauna, steam labyrinth and large whirlpool are also very nice. The only drawback: There is no natural light in the entire sauna.

SunCity in Paris

When doing research for this article, I was surprised by the many negative reviews of this sauna on the internet. Do not let that put you off on your next city break in Paris. The SunCity sauna is quite large, very clean and offers a fantastic pool area with a large swimming pool and right next to a very large jacuzzi. By the way, the entire gay sauna is designed in Indian style, which makes it quite unique internationally.

Gay Sex Culture in India – Does it Exist?

Sex is a taboo topic in India, and any discussion around sex is usually hushed. Governments are still stuck on whether to allow sex-education in schools or not. All this, despite India being the land of Kamasutra, and a land where temples like Khajurao depict sex in a very open and unrestricted manner on its walls through carvings pointing to an era when sex was celebrated openly. In such an atmosphere, where (straight) sex itself is taboo, you can imagine the many barriers that discussions around gay sex exist.

But does the reluctance of people to talk about sex means people are not having sex, or there is no sex culture in India? Far from it. Remember, India did not reach a population of 1.2 Billion through test tube babies. However, what it does do is make it difficult to talk about ones desires openly, and throws everything underground.

With the many restrictions, both legal and social around gay sex, it is not surprising that a gay sex culture (as it exists in European countries) does not exist in India. There are no bear or leather clubs, or clubs or pubs around fetishes. India does not even have gay clubs or bars. No Nude beaches. You do have gay parties but they are organised in regular bars/clubs once or twice a week, and notified via SMS or through secret Facebook groups. Sex toys are in demand in India, yet they are sold mostly underground (or online). Individuals do enjoy BDSM, master-slave relations, kink etc., and these are mostly put up in the profile description of Grindr and Planetromeo. LGBTQ space in India is still too preoccupied with discussions around coming out and fighting the homophobic law – Section 377.

But how does it all affect you when you visit India? Well, to begin with, it means when you visit India, there is no single club or bar in any city that you can go to to explore the gay life. If you do not know any LGBTQ Indian before who could show you around, or pass on the information of parties to you, then grindr and planetromeo remain your best friend to connect with people and gather these information.

And how does a law like 377 affect you? Well, the law is mainly used as a tool of harassment and for extortion of money by criminal gangs or by police. The Section 377 is mostly applied in cases of rape and child sex abuse, and is seldom applied on gay men for having sex. For more details on how Section 377 affects you as a gay tourist, you can read this post that I wrote sometime ago.

The fact that you are a foreign national visiting India however apparently acts as a deterrent for the police, as the police would not want to get into the tangles of dealing with embassies and disturbing foreign relations of India with other countries.

 

The Different Ways People Like to have Sex

Different people enjoy sex differently. Some enjoy being the Top, others Bottom, while there are those who enjoy being both. But this post is not about tops, bottoms or versatile. This post is also not about the various positions one may enjoy having sex in. Rather, this post is more about the idiosyncrasies of people (and mind you, I am not talking about fetish here) during sex.

february_sex_in_light

There are two kinds of people when it comes to having sex – those who keep the lights on, and those who prefer to do it in the dark. I belong to the first category, and I have often failed to understand why someone would want to have sex with lights turned off. In a pitch dark room, you can barely admire the naked body of the other, you can barely see the beast that will be awakened by your actions, and the worst of all, when any of you gets down to fuck, for the first few minutes, you are mostly trying to figure out where to put your cock. In such situations, we often come to a compromise where we have a dim light source in the form of a torchlight, or a the light from a computer screen. Some of my partners wanted to switch off the light because it somehow assured them that no one would be able to catch/see them having sex, although if anything, it would have made the neighbours only more suspicious.

february_sex_dressed

There are also the clothed and the naked men. Whereas most of us, while having sex are stark naked without even a single piece of cloth on our body, there are those who would not shed their clothes fully. The clothed variety is of different kind – some would just roll up their shirt and roll down their pants, but never taking them off fully. Others while taking off their shirt, prefer to hold on to their vest as some kind of protection.

february_kissing

Then there are the kissers and the non-kissers. I am not sure if this category exists outside of South Asia or countries with a lot of homophobia. Many gay/bi men at least in India will not kiss. Their lips are a sacred place that remains out of reach. At least some of the bisexual men are clear that only a girl gets to kiss their lips. For some gay men too, the concept of kissing a man is too alien and probably that is the reason they cannot imagine doing the same. Internalised homophobia apart, one cannot rule out this aversion to kissing to the fact that in India at least, anything touched by someone’s mouth/saliva becomes the untouchable. A part of this concept probably pre-dates to a period of untouchability that was widely practiced in the country, and since then, we have been unable to shake it off completely. Needless to say, such men will not give you a blow job.

I am sure you would have encountered at least one among this list, and probably there would be more additions to it. May be you could tell the other kinds that I have missed.