Yes, when you first started dating, everything was sexy, just looking at your boyfriend made you want to rip his clothes off and have him right there and then. Perhaps there were even times when you couldn’t even control yourself and you would just do it in a bathroom at a friend’s party. However, this ‘hot and heavy’ stage always fizzles out. No one knows exactly why – perhaps you become too comfortable with each other, you become too secure in your relationship and the knowledge that you can have sex whenever you want actually leads to a lack of sex, or at least adventurous sex, which is actually kind of paradoxical if you think about it. Well, whichever the reason, the lesson we must all remember at all times is that, in a relationship, you have to work at keeping the fires of passion and adventure alive. Great sex doesn’t just happen, and sometimes you have to work at it either to rekindle the fires or keep the flame alive even before it dies. So, what can you do to improve your sex life? Stay tuned and find out. Spoiler alert: it’s not difficult.
According to a survey published in the Huffington Post sleeping naked with your partner doesn’t only make you sleep better but can actually improve your sex life. The reason is simple: just being in close proximity to your partner and not be ‘separated’ by layers of clothing will entice and excite you. This in turn could actually lead to a lack of sleep (if you know what we mean), because once you caress your boyfriend’s skin, you won’t be able to help yourself and you’ll want them immediately. We have oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ to thank for this. When you sleep naked together higher levels of this hormone are released and you’ll feel not only aroused but also more connected to your partner.
Time to play
Even straight couples have discovered the benefits of bringing sex toys into the boudoir, and we all know that when it comes to sex, gays are always ahead of the straights. So, even if the levels of pleasure are at a satisfactory level, introducing some pleasure enhancers is never a bad idea. There is a huge number of toys you can play with that will make sex an unforgettable experience, such as a prostate massager, a butt plug and a cock ring (these are plain amazing). Once you’ve included toys into your sex life, there will never be a dull moment in bed ever again, and your toy collection will just become bigger until you have to replace the ‘goodie drawer’ with a ‘goodie closet’.
When out of ideas
If you think you’ve tried it all and you’re fresh out of ideas as to what new thing to do – watching pornography is a great way to get some inspiration. Perhaps you’ll discover some new positions to try, but above all else, watching to guys (or more if that’s your kind of thing) being all hot and heavy will instantly arouse you to the point of eruption and you won’t be able to contain yourself. Just like when you were hot and heavy at the very beginning and couldn’t get to the end of a ‘regular’ movie, you won’t be able to finish this one either.
Talk about it
Once you’re in the ‘relationship’ stage as opposed to just casually dating and you are comfortable enough with your boyfriend to tell him all about your childhood memories and perhaps even share some emotional scars, you can be comfortable enough to talk about your fantasies. Fantasies are a healthy for a relationship, and in addition to that, if you go along with one or all of them, you might find unknown levels of pleasure. You may actually discover that you enjoy being tied up or are aroused by a certain fetish or role play that never crossed your mind before.
Never skip on foreplay
Sometimes the sheer anticipation of a touch is enough to get you going. Never forget to take your time, kiss like there’s no tomorrow, touch, play and tease one another to the point where you just can’t stand it anymore, and then tease each other some more. Sometimes there is nothing better than delayed gratification.
Peter Minkoff is a gay travel and lifestyle writer. Besides writing, he worked as a travel journalist for many publications in Australia and the UK. Follow Peter on Facebook and Twitter for more tips.
Peter Minkoff ist ein schwuler Reise- und Lifestyle-Autor. Er arbeitete als Reisejournalist für viele Publikationen in Australien und Großbritannien. Folge Peter auf Facebook und Twitter für weitere Tipps.