5 Sex Tips for Young Gay Couples

Yes, when you first started dating, everything was sexy, just looking at your boyfriend made you want to rip his clothes off and have him right there and then. Perhaps there were even times when you couldn’t even control yourself and you would just do it in a bathroom at a friend’s party. However, this ‘hot and heavy’ stage always fizzles out. No one knows exactly why – perhaps you become too comfortable with each other, you become too secure in your relationship and the knowledge that you can have sex whenever you want actually leads to a lack of sex, or at least adventurous sex, which is actually kind of paradoxical if you think about it. Well, whichever the reason, the lesson we must all remember at all times is that, in a relationship, you have to work at keeping the fires of passion and adventure alive. Great sex doesn’t just happen, and sometimes you have to work at it either to rekindle the fires or keep the flame alive even before it dies. So, what can you do to improve your sex life? Stay tuned and find out. Spoiler alert: it’s not difficult.

Sleep naked

According to a survey published in the Huffington Post sleeping naked with your partner doesn’t only make you sleep better but can actually improve your sex life. The reason is simple: just being in close proximity to your partner and not be ‘separated’ by layers of clothing will entice and excite you. This in turn could actually lead to a lack of sleep (if you know what we mean), because once you caress your boyfriend’s skin, you won’t be able to help yourself and you’ll want them immediately. We have oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ to thank for this. When you sleep naked together higher levels of this hormone are released and you’ll feel not only aroused but also more connected to your partner.

Time to play

Even straight couples have discovered the benefits of bringing sex toys into the boudoir, and we all know that when it comes to sex, gays are always ahead of the straights. So, even if the levels of pleasure are at a satisfactory level, introducing some pleasure enhancers is never a bad idea. There is a huge number of toys you can play with that will make sex an unforgettable experience, such as a prostate massager, a butt plug and a cock ring (these are plain amazing). Once you’ve included toys into your sex life, there will never be a dull moment in bed ever again, and your toy collection will just become bigger until you have to replace the ‘goodie drawer’ with a ‘goodie closet’.

When out of ideas

If you think you’ve tried it all and you’re fresh out of ideas as to what new thing to do – watching pornography is a great way to get some inspiration. Perhaps you’ll discover some new positions to try, but above all else, watching to guys (or more if that’s your kind of thing) being all hot and heavy will instantly arouse you to the point of eruption and you won’t be able to contain yourself. Just like when you were hot and heavy at the very beginning and couldn’t get to the end of a ‘regular’ movie, you won’t be able to finish this one either.

Talk about it

Once you’re in the ‘relationship’ stage as opposed to just casually dating and you are comfortable enough with your boyfriend to tell him all about your childhood memories and perhaps even share some emotional scars, you can be comfortable enough to talk about your fantasies. Fantasies are a healthy for a relationship, and in addition to that, if you go along with one or all of them, you might find unknown levels of pleasure. You may actually discover that you enjoy being tied up or are aroused by a certain fetish or role play that never crossed your mind before.

Never skip on foreplay

Sometimes the sheer anticipation of a touch is enough to get you going. Never forget to take your time, kiss like there’s no tomorrow, touch, play and tease one another to the point where you just can’t stand it anymore, and then tease each other some more. Sometimes there is nothing better than delayed gratification.

Some of the most beautiful gay saunas in the world

No matter which city, country or continent you are in: in a gay sauna every gay man feels right at home. Most of the gay saunas in the world are similar: There is usually at least one dry sauna, and most of the time you will find a steam room, a hot tub, a bar lounge, a cruising area and often screens that show pornos. In terms of size and cleanliness, there are differences. I’d like to state that I have never visited a really dirty gay sauna. As a matter of fact each one was pretty clean. Nonetheless, some gay saunas are more beautiful than others. Therefore, I would like to present some of the best international gay saunas in my blog post today:

Babylon Sauna in Bangkok

Probably the biggest and most beautiful gay sauna I have ever visited is the Babylon Sauna in Bangkok. Immediately after entering the visitor is in a true wellness paradise. Everything is clean, there is a feel-good atmosphere – and the noise of the Thai city seems very far away. In addition to the usual facilities the Babylon sauna has a large swimming pool, an excellent restaurant, several bars, a top-equipped gym and not only you can get a massage: even a hairdresser offers hiss services.

‘t Bölke Gaysauna in Enschede

My favorite sauna is in the Netherlands. Not in the popular gay metropolis Amsterdam, but in the enchanting Enschede. The city is located directly behind the German-Dutch border and is a popular destination for shopping on Saturdays. My husband and I like to associate this with a visit to the ‘t Bölke sauna, an extremely well-kept and luxurious oasis of tranquility. In the beautiful ambience you can relax wonderfully. I particularly like the pool area, whose roof can be opened in summer, so that visitors can relax in the open air in the Jacuzzi. Highly recommended is the restaurant with a small but delicious menu. The staff is super friendly. By the way, you also find a club in the sauna complex, so that on weekends you can switch directly from the gay sauna to the club.

Nova Bruc in Barcelona

In Barcelona, there are a variety of gay saunas. Due to their individual flair (and the clientele) I like the sauna Nova Bruc best in the city. It is especially popular with gay bears, their admirers and older men. Your are reminded of that at the cash register. I also like the rather traditional Nova Bruc sauna: it reminds me of a historic bathhouse. Especially the natural light in pool area is very nice.

Sauna Labyrint in Prague

In the Karlín district of Prague you will find the sauna labyrinth. This gay sauna in the Czech capital offers the usual equipment as a small bar, darkrooms, playground and numerous cabins, which you can rent on several floors. The wellness area with Finnish sauna, bio sauna, steam labyrinth and large whirlpool are also very nice. The only drawback: There is no natural light in the entire sauna.

SunCity in Paris

When doing research for this article, I was surprised by the many negative reviews of this sauna on the internet. Do not let that put you off on your next city break in Paris. The SunCity sauna is quite large, very clean and offers a fantastic pool area with a large swimming pool and right next to a very large jacuzzi. By the way, the entire gay sauna is designed in Indian style, which makes it quite unique internationally.

Spartacus International Gay Guide: freu dich auf deine nächste Gay Reise

Obwohl das Reisen zu meinen absoluten Hobbies zählt, gibt es doch ein paar Dinge, die mich daran nerven. In Vorbereitung auf einen Trip und auch direkt vor Ort fiel es mir oft schwer, ausreichend und zuverlässige Community Facts zu meinem Reiseziel zu finden. Klar, es gibt hierfür unzählige Apps und Webseiten, die versprechen, sie hätten umfangreiche Informationen zu vielen Gay Hotspots auf der Welt. Was mir schon eher zusagte, um mich im Vorfeld über mein Reiseziel zu informieren, waren Blogs von Leuten aus der Community. Ich mag es, die Stories anderer zu lesen und mir so eine gute Vorstellung davon machen zu können, welche spannenden und interessanten Locations mich erwarten.

Was mir andererseits auf den unzähligen, jedoch unvollständigen Gay Travel Webseiten stets fehlte, war der ‘straighte’ Inhalt. Alles in allem nervte mich bisher, dass ich die für mich wichtigen Infos zu meinem Traumziel von den ‘tausend’ verschiedenen Quellen besorgen musste: die eine Insiderinfo hier, die andere dort usw., sodass dafür häufig viel Zeit drauf ging. Die Gay Apps waren schon ganz hilfreich dabei, jedoch waren sie für mich lückenhaft, nicht mehr aktuell oder vom Design her eher zum Abgewöhnen. Einer der Apps, die ich schon seit Langem nutzte, ist die Spartacus App. Vorteilhaft an dieser App war natürlich der Gay Content, beispielsweise zu Cruising Areas oder Gay Saunen. Doch sind meine Reisen häufig so, dass ich auch außerhalb der Community etwas erleben will. Um Infos zu typischen Sehenswürdigkeiten einer Stadt, wie zum Beispiel Museen, zu bekommen, musste ich bisher, ihr ahnt es schon, selbstverständlich wieder auf anderen Webseiten suchen. Es war also nicht selten, dass ich ‚tausende‘ Tabs im Browser geöffnet hatte und zusätzlich zwischen mehreren Apps hin- und hersprang. Davon war auch vor Ort die Frage betroffen, was unternehme ich heute Abend oder am nächsten Tag. Nicht zu vergessen die Suche nach einer gemütlichen, am besten gay-freundlichen Unterkunft und die Gay Events, allen voran die Gay Prides, welche der Anlass für viele meiner Reisen waren und sein werden.

Weswegen ich so ausführlich über die mehr oder weniger umständliche Reiseplanung schreibe? – Ich kann mir vorstellen, euch geht es ähnlich. Umso cooler ist es, dass es nun eine echte Verbesserung gibt, die ich nicht für mich behalten will: neulich nutzte ich wie gewöhnlich die Spartacus App und bemerkte die Vorzüge des Updates der App, das vor Kurzem stattfand.

Was soll ich sagen? – Viele der oben beschriebenen Probleme lösten sich in Luft auf. Mit der aktuellen Version der Spartacus App bekomme ich aus EINER Quelle top Infos zur Community wie Events, Locations und tatsächlichen Hot Spots [,wenn ihr versteht, was ich meine ;-)]. Andererseits lerne ich mein Reiseziel besser kennen, da auch ganz gewöhnliche Touri-Infos enthalten sind, z.B. Sehenswürdigkeiten. Außerdem habe ich Zugriff auf verschiedene Blogs, integrierte Umgebungskarten und kann mit der App auch meine An-/ Abreise planen. Die neue Möglichkeit, dass ich nun mit Hilfe der App eine private Unterkunft in der Community buchen kann, gefällt mir auch sehr gut. Ich mag keine Hotels, bei denen ich mir nicht sicher sein kann, ob ich auch wirklich willkommen bin. Ein dickes Plus für mich ist außerdem, dass fast alle GayPride Termine enthalten sind.

Zurzeit überlege ich, wann ich der Queen in London einen Besuch abstatte. 😉 Das wird mein erstes Mal in der britischen Hauptstadt. Dabei kommt mir das frische Update der Spartacus App super gelegen: das Stöbern durch die vielen Einträge in den unterschiedlichen Rubriken der App (Dance, Drink, Eat, Events, Info, Horny, Shops, Sights) als auch die interaktive Karte machen mich sehr neugierig auf mein nächstes Reiseziel. Die neue Version der App macht ziemlich Spaß. Da ich hier und da ein Faulpelz bin, ist sie für mich super bequem. Wie gesagt, ich bekomme alle Facts, die mir wichtig sind, auf einem Blick. Würde ich die App bewerten, bekäme sie von mir fünf von fünf Sternen und einen Daumen nach oben.

Spartacus International Gay Guide: look forward to your next gay trip.

Although travelling is one of my favourite hobbies, there are a few things that bother me. In preparation for a trip and also at destination, I often found it really hard to encounter sufficient and reliable community facts. Sure there are countless apps and websites that promise to have extensive information on many gay hotspots in the world. What appealed to me in advance to inform myself about my destination, were blogs from people in the community. I like reading the stories of others and getting a good idea of ​​what exciting and interesting locations await me.

On the other hand, what always lacked on the countless but incomplete Gay Travel websites was the ‘straightforward’ content. All in all, I was really annoyed that I had to get important information about my dream destination from ‘thousands’ of different sources: one insider info here, the other there, etc. so that I had to spend a lot of time on research. The gay apps were quite helpful, but they were sketchy for me, out of date or to keep off thanks to their design. One of the apps I used for a long time has been the Spartacus app. The advantage of this app was the gay content, for example, cruising areas or gay saunas. However, my travels are often such that I also want to experience something outside of the community. 😉 To get information about typical sights of a city, such as museums, I previously had – you might already have guessed it – to search again on other websites. So it was not rare that I had a lot of tabs open in the browser and were jumping between several apps on top. That often affected and affects my planning what to do with my time at a given destination. Not to mention the search for a cozy, gay-friendly accommodation and gay events, especially the Gay Prides, which were and will be the reason for many of my trips.

Why do I write so much about the more or less complicated travel planning? I do asssume that you feel the same. What could be better than that there is now real improvement that I do not want to keep to myself: the other day, when I used the Spartacus app  there was a major update that was launched recently. And what can I say? – Many of the problems described above have almost vanished. With the current version of the Spartacus app I get from ONE source of top information on the community:  events, locations, actual hot spots [if you know what I mean ;-)] On the other hand I get to know my destination better, as well as ordinary tourist information is included, e.g. attractions. I also have access to various blogs, integrated maps of surroundings and can also plan my arrival / departure using the app. What I really like is the possibility that I can now book private accommodation in the community with the help of the app. I do not like hotels where I can’t be sure if I’m really welcome. A big plus for me is that almost all GayPride events are listed.

At present, I’m thinking about when best to visit THE Queen in London. 😉 This will be my first trip to the British capital. The recent update of the Spartacus app comes in really handy: browsing through the many entries in the different sections of the app (Dance, Drink, Eat, Events, Info, Horny, Shops, Sights) as well as the interactive map make me really curious about my next destination. The new version of the app is a lot of fun. Since I am a lazybones here and there, it is extremely useful for me. As I said, I get all the facts that are important to me at a glance. If I were to appraise the app, I’d give it five out of five stars and a thumbs up.

      

Internet killed the Cruising Star

Ich kann mich noch gut daran erinnern, wie ich noch vor meinem Coming Out in einem Stadtmagazin die Rezension des Romans „Remeurs Sünden“ von Hans Scherer las. Kurz darauf nahm ich all meinen Mut zusammen und kaufte das Buch in einer lokalen Buchhandlung. Amazon gab es damals noch nicht. Beim Lesen offenbarte sich mir ein schwules Paralleluniversum, von dessen Existenz ich niemals zu träumen gewagt hätte: Eine Welt, in der sich bi- und homosexuelle Männer an öffentlichen Orten treffen, um miteinander Sex zu haben. Denn Remeurs Sünden erzählt die Geschichte von einem genießerischen Reisenden, der die Welt der Klappen, Saunen oder Stricherkneipen in Paris, London oder Amsterdam erkundet.

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Ungefähr im selben Zeitraum kaufte ich mir dann auch den damals aktuellen Spartacus International Gay Guide. Dieser alphabetisch nach Ländern geordnete Reiseführer für schwule Männer enthält nicht nur Überblick über die dort geltenden Gesetze zur Homosexualität, sondern auch eine Auflistung an Orten und Einrichtungen, die für schwule Touristen interessant sein könnten, wie zum Beispiel Gay-Bars, schwulenfreundliche Hotels, Gay-Saunen – und eben Cruising Areas. Zu meinem großen Erstaunen war sogar die niedersächsische Kreisstadt, in der ich damals noch mit meinen Eltern lebte, mit gleich mehreren Einträgen in diesem Buch vertreten. Und siehe da: U.a. handelte es sich bei der öffentlichen Toilette direkt neben der Bushaltestelle, an welcher ich sieben Jahre nach der Schule auf den Bus gewartet hatte, um eine Klappe! Wie wäre mein Sexleben wohl verlaufen, wenn ich das früher erfahren hätte!? Von nun an ging ich fast jeden Tag auf diese und weitere Klappen in Hameln, trieb es mit ehemaligen Kollegen und Lehrern in Büschen im Park, informierte mich vor Reisen über Cruising Areas auf Autobahnparkplätzen oder an Stränden. Fast immer waren es die schönsten Orte in einer Stadt, die sich die Männer als Sextreffpunkte ausgesucht hatten: Die Isarauen in München, die Bullenwiese an den Ricklinger Kiesteichen in Hannover, der Mont Juic Park in Barcelona oder die Dünen von Maspalomas auf Gran Canaria!

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Vor einigen Jahren änderte sich die Cruising-Kultur jedoch schlagartig: Auf öffentlichen Toiletten, auf Autobahnparkplätzen und sogar in den von mir besonders geliebten Pornokinos der Republik nahm die Anzahl der Besucher fast über Nacht spürbar ab. Und sogar auf den mittlerweile weit verbreiteten Dating-Portalen im Internet nahm die Anzahl der Anfragen deutlich ab. Ich bin fest davon überzeugt, dass dies eine Folge des Siegeszugs der frei und kostenlos zugänglichen Pornoportalen im Internet ist.

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Heutzutage trifft man in Cruising Areas und Pornokinos überwiegend auf Senioren. Vielleicht haben diese noch keinen Internetanschluss im Haus, mit dem sie Sexfilme schauen und kein Smartphone, über welches sie Dates vereinbaren können. Ganz andere Erfahrungen habe ich dagegen in muslimisch geprägten Ländern gemacht, in denen (nicht nur schwule) Sexwebsites gesperrt sind. In Dubai kann man auf fast jeder öffentlichen Toilette anonymen Sex haben, in Damaskus oder Istanbul dienen die Hamams als Treffpunkte, an denen sich Männer gegenseitig verwöhnen.

Somit hatte der Modedesigner Wolfgang Joop wohl recht, als er sagte: „Wenn Sex überall ist, gibt es keinen mehr.“

The Different Ways People Like to have Sex

Different people enjoy sex differently. Some enjoy being the Top, others Bottom, while there are those who enjoy being both. But this post is not about tops, bottoms or versatile. This post is also not about the various positions one may enjoy having sex in. Rather, this post is more about the idiosyncrasies of people (and mind you, I am not talking about fetish here) during sex.

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There are two kinds of people when it comes to having sex – those who keep the lights on, and those who prefer to do it in the dark. I belong to the first category, and I have often failed to understand why someone would want to have sex with lights turned off. In a pitch dark room, you can barely admire the naked body of the other, you can barely see the beast that will be awakened by your actions, and the worst of all, when any of you gets down to fuck, for the first few minutes, you are mostly trying to figure out where to put your cock. In such situations, we often come to a compromise where we have a dim light source in the form of a torchlight, or a the light from a computer screen. Some of my partners wanted to switch off the light because it somehow assured them that no one would be able to catch/see them having sex, although if anything, it would have made the neighbours only more suspicious.

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There are also the clothed and the naked men. Whereas most of us, while having sex are stark naked without even a single piece of cloth on our body, there are those who would not shed their clothes fully. The clothed variety is of different kind – some would just roll up their shirt and roll down their pants, but never taking them off fully. Others while taking off their shirt, prefer to hold on to their vest as some kind of protection.

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Then there are the kissers and the non-kissers. I am not sure if this category exists outside of South Asia or countries with a lot of homophobia. Many gay/bi men at least in India will not kiss. Their lips are a sacred place that remains out of reach. At least some of the bisexual men are clear that only a girl gets to kiss their lips. For some gay men too, the concept of kissing a man is too alien and probably that is the reason they cannot imagine doing the same. Internalised homophobia apart, one cannot rule out this aversion to kissing to the fact that in India at least, anything touched by someone’s mouth/saliva becomes the untouchable. A part of this concept probably pre-dates to a period of untouchability that was widely practiced in the country, and since then, we have been unable to shake it off completely. Needless to say, such men will not give you a blow job.

I am sure you would have encountered at least one among this list, and probably there would be more additions to it. May be you could tell the other kinds that I have missed.